Hello and Good-byes are a part of a separated/divorced home. Unfortunately, the children can be the most affected as they pack for one home to another, and then re-pack again.
This time can be emotional for everyone involved. A parent’s heart is heavy saying so long praying the children will adjust. You may find yourself feeling very overwhelmed and anxious. There is a re-adjustment as you return to a quiet, empty house.
This is what helped me adjust.
- Schedule a time to talk on the phone with the kids. If the ex is willing, schedule a time to talk to the children mid-vacation. Try to be positive and excited with them about what they are doing. Thank your ex for this time to talk to them. I found it was best not to chat to them before bed so it didn’t get them upset missing me before settling in for the night. Once they left for a holiday, my girls knew they had an option to chat and it seemed to relax them. I assured them I loved them. I let them know I hoped they would have a fun time and would see them soon.
- Trust God- Release your children to God because it can be a helpless feeling. Maybe your children have a hard time with adjustment or anxiety. There are new house rules and your ex has to adjust to having the kids around full-time. Maybe you have a fear that the kids won’t want to come home. Single parents have shared their concern about the environment their children are going to. I encourage you if things become negative for your children during this time; you have a plan in place. I wish I had an easy solution but I don’t. What I do know, is that God sees and He says to give Him your worries. Can you ask a few trusted friends or family member to partner with you in prayer? You don’t have to do this alone. Even in the best of situations pray and trust.
Psalm 94: 18-19 `When I felt my feet slipping, you came with your love and kept me steady. And when I was burdened with worries, you comforted me and made me feel secure’.
- Refresh yourself. Schedule time to read, go to a movie, work on a craft, grab a bike and go for a ride, meet with friends, schedule to go to a local sporting event. Where I live, they usually have movies in the park and band’s playing so check that out and grab your lawn chair and enjoy! It is hard to schedule time for yourself when the kids are home so this is the time to pamper yourself. Make a list of things you would like to do and have some fun. You don`t have to feel guilty about doing this. This is your time to become refreshed. I found myself packing a picnic lunch, getting in my car for a destination unknown with a lawn chair and book. I called it my ‘Linda Time’.
Summer may be a time to pack suitcase, but it can also be a time to have your time to be refreshed.
- Release your children to God
- Schedule a time with your ex to talk to your kiddos
- Make a list of some things you have wanted to do but never had the time
- With this list, make sure you do some
- Ask a few people to pray for all involved during this separation
- Dust off the bike and go for a ride!
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!