We all need hope and a sense of purpose. A good prescription for hope and purpose is when we can make:
A. (new) CHOICES
Sometimes choices are left in our lap and quite frankly didn’t want! I had to re-enter the work force, take on all household chores, and pay the bills. The kids and I had to work through life changes.
I am sure, like you, there were so many new choices. I had to decide my next steps and define my attitude. I definitely didn’t want to bitter placing blame all the time because I knew I would never heal.
Bless those that encouraged me to trust God to help me in all my decisions. I had a choice in my conversations, and choosing a positive attitude when I really didn’t want to have one.
At the end of the day, I wanted to be at peace with my choices that were God-honouring and God-centered. These kind of new choices will make a Momma Move Ahead! What kind of choices do you feel would help you have a healthier lifestyle for you and your children?
B. (new) CHALLENGES
Step One is to make new choices, but the challenge comes when it is time to turn that into an action plan.
For me, that meant going to night school, working full time, packing up and moving to another city, seeing a counselor to get some REALITY focus, and heal in positive ways.
I know some have shared if they should pack and move somewhere else. Should they start to date again? What about starting a brand new career and how to go about it? Some have children that are not dealing with the marriage break down and wonder what to do. Legal issues never seem to end.
No wonder God said He hated divorce. It is not just two people splitting apart, it is a rippling affect and brings many challenges. For me, I had to take a step back and evaluate, evaluate, evaluate. I asked:
- What is good and in the best interest for the children?
- What will be good for the future in employment with benefits, retirement plans, what skills do I need to accomplish taking care of my little family?
- What about dating? How are the kids reacting? Do they need me more than I need a boyfriend? Am I just trying to show up my ex that “I still got it”? Am I running to a guy because I am lonely? I see many single parents start dating right away. I would really encourage you to take time to heal, take time with the kids, and take time to found out who you are now. Don’t be afraid to be alone. If you feel you are in a good spot and the kids are OK with it, then enjoy the ride and bless you in the journey!
- Another challenge is to set some positive boundaries for you and the kids. Working to keep everyone in a good routine and a good schedule will go a long way in reducing stress.
- Would you consider some family counselling or individual counselling for you and your kids? Something to think about. I did it for all of us and it was helpful.
Some days my body ached just trying to make good choices and facing challenges. Don’t despair and keep having HOPE. It will pay off.
C. (new) CELEBRATIONS
Do something special with your kids, have a girl’s night while the kids are away, or go see a movie. When you finish a hard task, do something fun! It doesn’t have to be big, but it’s a WAY TO GO moment.
It’s Time Dear One! ….to make (new) CHOICES and (new) CHALLENGES and that lead to a time to CELEBRATE.
- Try the 3 C’s….CHOICES, CHALLENGES, CELEBRATE! It will be amazing.
YOU CAN DO THIS!