Alone but Not Forgotten

You are important and not forgotten!

While living life as a single mom, there were days when it felt heavy piled with uncertainty.  Now with Covid-19 still looming, it has certainly caused more isolation and lonelier days.  For you, single parents, I give you a high five and a huge gold star!  It’s okay to feel discouraged and weary.  It’s okay to blow your nose and wipe away your tears. 

Did you know that God collects your tears?

You have kept record of my days of wandering. You have stored my tears in your bottle and counted each of them.  Psalm 56:8

We all need to be reminded of the wonderful promise that while there are feelings of being alone the truth is, we are NOT forgotten by God. 

From one person God made all nations who live on earth, and he decided when and where every nation would be. Acts 17:26

We are on this planet for a reason. We will have troubles, we will have pain, and we will have triumphant times.  It’s called life!  I am not liking the pain or the trouble.  I’d rather have triumphant victories any day. 

I know single parents feel physically alone sometimes.  I wasn’t asked to join in activities like I used to, I had to make important decisions alone, and my heart felt the aloneness that only those that live it can understand.

God’s promise is that He will never leave us alone.  He promised it to those living in Old and New Testament times and He still does today. 

…The Lord has promised that He will not leave us or desert us.  Hebrews 13:5

Do you feel that God has abandoned you or doesn’t care.? I have felt that way too.  It’s okay to feel that way, because God still keeps His promise despite how we feel. Maybe you feel that way right now.  Don’t give up. Keep reaching out and up to God. Keep talking to Him. 

When you are hurt by those that are not including you and don’t understand the life issues you are facing (that is a given), why not grab yourself a coffee and go for a walk with God.  He is waiting to listen, collect your tears, and reassure you He isn’t going anywhere. 

There had been times, in utter alone-ness, I received a phone call, or a knock at the door.  God brings positive situations into our lives to let us know that we may be alone, but He has NOT forgotten us or ever will.

Why not buy a decorative bottle at the dollar store or thrift store and keep on your counter to remind you that God is collecting your tears and will not desert you?

With God as your focus it will help in positive decisions and not out of desperation. I am not saying it is easy as 1-2-3 but being alone can be a positive thing as you work on a relationship with God first and foremost.  He really does have your back.

As Easter approaches, we can be assured that God has not left us alone or forgotten us.  He provided a way for us to have victory here on earth and forever. 

Thank you, Jesus for your life-giving love sacrifice.

You may feel alone, but you are NOT forgotten.

Next time:  Alone Yet Able

ALONE, YET NOT ALONE

No one likes to be alone. Yet, life sometimes hands us that for a time.

As well, single parenting is tough to say the least.  It is hard enough when two parents are trying to figure out how to raise children but then when faced with doing it alone. It can be overwhelming.

It has been a number of years since I was a single parent, but I haven’t forgot the daily struggles and issues I faced. That is something that will always be apart of my life and my heart.  I walked that journey for years and I was ALONE.  And yet, I really wasn’t. 

I am going to share over the next few weeks the idea of being ALONE. Will you join me? 

Alone, Yet Not Alone

My home sounded awfully quiet some days.  My children were with their dad and I had a few days to refuel before the silence was broken again. People are busy with their lives, schedules, and to do lists. Some of my free weekends meant I was alone because my friends had other commitments and were busy. 

Some good intentional people would tell me not to worry and that I would find someone else. What if that didn’t happen?  I couldn’t hold my breathe or quickly go out and find husband number two just because I was tired of doing things on my own. (BTW, that can be disastrous).

So how can I say I was not alone?

Physically in many ways I was, but because of my faith in Jesus, I wasn’t.  This is not some cliché to make it sound easy.

I believed as I lived my life and tried to be the best mom I could be, I had a partner alongside me. His name was Jesus.  Jesus heard my cries, heard my dreams, and heard by desire to want to become a strong woman of character.   So much so, that when I was in a crowd of people, I felt I wasn’t the third wheel. I could go to a movie theater alone, or go read my book in a coffee shop, or get my nails done alone, and I was okay.  

I sat on the pool bleachers watching the kids take swimming lessons, sat on the wooden Community Centre bench watching them do karate, and sat alone in the doctor’s office with a sick child.  I have to be honest; I was mad sometimes with this single parenting life I had been handed. The circumstance that made me single was painful, but deep down I knew I was going to be okay.

With help from friends, a counsellor, and reading Scripture, I began to understand I was WHOLE.  I was told that ONE is a whole number and as a single parent I was alone, yet not alone.  I had to change my thinking and attitude and work on being okay with being alone because I was whole as a single mom.  It saved me from some disastrous decisions and events that I would regret.

It is tough and it is lonely.  I get it.  I was that way for 12 years. I am not sugar coating it. I had many sessions of tears, many meltdowns, and feelings of emptiness as a single person. From experience, I would encourage you to pause, if you are struggling with being alone and challenge you to begin to embrace it.  Take this time to work on the wholeness of who you are, find out who you are, and begin to enjoy some of it.  It is a great confidence builder as you begin to process this. This really can be a blessing right now instead of a curse

As you sit on a park bench watching your kids at the park, or fighting a headache with the kids screaming from the back seat of the car, or pulling your hair out trying to figure out their math homework, you are going to be okay.  You may be alone, you are whole, and you really aren’t alone.

If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

He will spread his wings over you and keep you secure. His faithfulness is like a shield or a city wall. Psalm 91:4

My heartfelt prayer is that you will think about this and begin to believe in yourself as a whole person ALONE, BUT NOT ALONE.

I truly believe, YOU CAN DO THIS!

Next: Alone, but not Forgotten

If you are wondering what faith in Jesus is all about and Christianity check this out.

https://tmm.io/resources/what-is-a-christian-ptc/

Farewell February!

I have to say January and February are my least likable months. How about you?  I live in a place where snow and ice storms along with very frigid weather are constant for at least 3 months.  Just getting ready to go outside makes me look like Ralphie’s brother, Randy, from The Christmas Story movie.  By the time, I am dressed, I am exhausted!  Covid-19 has not helped this year

It has taken me a few years to realize that my energy and attitude levels are not always what they should be during these months. So, I acknowledge it, try and work through it on my own, talk to people in my corner who are what I call, Safe People, and make a plan of action.

Making a game plan is what I need especially during for these months. I get my sewing machine busy, read uplifting books, watch some funny shows, go for an outside walk with my friend once a week (yes, I look like Ralphie’s brother), do more crafting, and brave the cold and snow by snowshoeing.  If our ATV can get through the snow, we go on rides as well. It has been harder this year with not being able to connect with extended family and friends.   I bet you are feeling the same way

.I remember as a single mom, it was especially hard and I was thankful for those friends and family who were just a call away.  It can feel very lonely at times especially when some around us are not affected in the same way.  That is okay, I am not them, they are not me.  

As I embrace the realization that some months of the year are not my favourite, then I can work at solutions. I know some people need medication and grateful for prescriptions to help them do life. We all need to care for ourselves as God’s creation and then, in turn, we can manage life and care for others.

The scriptures are also comforting and encouraging to me.   Numerous people in the Bible struggled too.  It’s called being human.

Psalm 42:11 Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.

Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation– whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life– of whom shall I be afraid?

I am happy February is leaving, but I am also glad to have worked to embrace my struggles.  If you are like me, I hope you can do the same little by little.

Don’t be afraid to reach out if you would like some encouragement and a listening hear. Also, here are a couple of links if you are interested.

https://www.focusonthefamily.ca/get-help/counselling#counselling-request

https://thelife.com/about/get-a-mentor

We are going to get through this.

Black and White and the Colours Between

Recently, after a snowfall, our property was touched with a gorgeous scene of black and white. (no filters) I paused in the beauty of this quietness.

As with life, some people live only with black and white reasoning.  Others, like it mixed with a bit of colour, while others live in full rainbow spectrum!  I bet you can think of people in each of those examples.  It makes for a very interesting world, right!

As the numbers of my age keep increasing (lol), the more and more I am working at letting myself, people, and life situations be covered with more grace…God’s grace.  If not, I might as well put a paper bag over my head and crawl back into bed. 

We are all unique, we have been raised differently, we have chosen our own opinions, and work at doing life. That can make for some stressors but we can only choose for us.  What I do know, and have hope and peace within my soul, is to live by God’s colours.  Some things are very black and white yet many other life issues and choices He provides us with splashes of colours. 

Yesterday morning, our property wasn’t black and white but a pallet of wonderful shades.

In making decisions and choosing how to live, I want my life colours to be mixed with GRACE.  All of that is found in Scripture.

We won’t agree with others and others won’t agree with us. As my mom used to say, ‘We have to agree to disagree’…and by the way, her name is Grace.

But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,
    what God is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
    be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously—
    take God seriously. Micah 6:8 (The Message)

Whatever colours the world is displaying, we can’t go wrong on choosing God’s colours of how to live.  People will continue to splash colours of their own agenda, so I will do as Micah says….take God seriously. We can’t go wrong with that all mixed with grace.

We can do this!

VISION 2021

I was reminded today about seeking a vision for the coming months. I have my projects numbered and my non-fiction books lined up on the shelf.  The challenge for me was to re-exam God’s vision for me. He knows me perfectly.

Some of you are single parents and getting through one week at a time is claiming the mountain.  I remember those days and bless you for climbing it each week.

Some of you are struggling with financial pressures. It has been a hard year and still is.  Employment may be sporadic at best or you have to cramp yourself into your bedroom to work from home while the kids are fighting outside the door. Car repairs and rental obligations are still hounding.

Some of you are very lonely. COVID-19 has made this an especially difficult season and depression is a battle. We are struggling with the fear of this pandemic leading to a heavy heart.  Physical touch seems few and far between.

Some of you are struggling with God and how living this life has been placed in your lap.  Yes, life is unfair.  I know that first hand. Life is also fragile. One week goes into another and you stare out the window wondering where He is.

How can we find vision in 2021…God’s vision… in this crazy world? 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Let’s do this together!

First: Ask God.  He wants to share it with you.

Second: Begin to look around for opportunities and situations. Have you thought of doing something new or a passion and burden that is on your heart?  

Would you be willing to ask God to reveal and open some doors?  Don’t worry if something doesn’t work out, try something different. Life is also an exciting journey.  Sometimes we think it has to be something big or grand.  Not at all.  Doing what God and you have worked at together is the best. 

The other day I saw someone knitting mittens for an organization. Other’s offer meals to those in need and then drop it off at their doorstep. I see a lady and her husband grocery shopping for seniors every week. Some give their time to help with yard work.  Some have a passion for helping those who are struggling financially…wow…that was a gift for me when I was raising my girls.  What about a phone call to a person who is lonely or needs some encouragement?  What about starting a book you always wanted to write? How about looking into a class that may help you in a job or something to start your own business.  I know of someone taking an online sign language course and she loves it. The list is endless and God made you very exclusive with unique talents and gifts.  He will help you see your vision.

Third: Put a plan into action. Don’t feel pressure if it takes a few months or years to get there. If you don’t know how to start, perhaps chat with someone that can help you see outside the box.  It may mean stepping outside your comfort zone but it might just surprise you.

I wrote a book for single parents because I was one.  I encourage and mentor women because I want them to be all they can be and to be vision-filled as well.  Those were some things I was passionate about and God kept nudging me to do.  For me, what will vision 2021 look like?  Not sure, but I am going to move ahead.  How about you?

I am rooting for you!  Onward to 2021 Dear Ones!