No one likes to be alone. Yet, life sometimes hands us that for a time.
As well, single parenting is tough to say the least. It is hard enough when two parents are trying to figure out how to raise children but then when faced with doing it alone. It can be overwhelming.
It has been a number of years since I was a single parent, but I haven’t forgot the daily struggles and issues I faced. That is something that will always be apart of my life and my heart. I walked that journey for years and I was ALONE. And yet, I really wasn’t.
I am going to share over the next few weeks the idea of being ALONE. Will you join me?
Alone, Yet Not Alone
My home sounded awfully quiet some days. My children were with their dad and I had a few days to refuel before the silence was broken again. People are busy with their lives, schedules, and to do lists. Some of my free weekends meant I was alone because my friends had other commitments and were busy.
Some good intentional people would tell me not to worry and that I would find someone else. What if that didn’t happen? I couldn’t hold my breathe or quickly go out and find husband number two just because I was tired of doing things on my own. (BTW, that can be disastrous).
So how can I say I was not alone?
Physically in many ways I was, but because of my faith in Jesus, I wasn’t. This is not some cliché to make it sound easy.
I believed as I lived my life and tried to be the best mom I could be, I had a partner alongside me. His name was Jesus. Jesus heard my cries, heard my dreams, and heard by desire to want to become a strong woman of character. So much so, that when I was in a crowd of people, I felt I wasn’t the third wheel. I could go to a movie theater alone, or go read my book in a coffee shop, or get my nails done alone, and I was okay.
I sat on the pool bleachers watching the kids take swimming lessons, sat on the wooden Community Centre bench watching them do karate, and sat alone in the doctor’s office with a sick child. I have to be honest; I was mad sometimes with this single parenting life I had been handed. The circumstance that made me single was painful, but deep down I knew I was going to be okay.
With help from friends, a counsellor, and reading Scripture, I began to understand I was WHOLE. I was told that ONE is a whole number and as a single parent I was alone, yet not alone. I had to change my thinking and attitude and work on being okay with being alone because I was whole as a single mom. It saved me from some disastrous decisions and events that I would regret.
It is tough and it is lonely. I get it. I was that way for 12 years. I am not sugar coating it. I had many sessions of tears, many meltdowns, and feelings of emptiness as a single person. From experience, I would encourage you to pause, if you are struggling with being alone and challenge you to begin to embrace it. Take this time to work on the wholeness of who you are, find out who you are, and begin to enjoy some of it. It is a great confidence builder as you begin to process this. This really can be a blessing right now instead of a curse
As you sit on a park bench watching your kids at the park, or fighting a headache with the kids screaming from the back seat of the car, or pulling your hair out trying to figure out their math homework, you are going to be okay. You may be alone, you are whole, and you really aren’t alone.
If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
He will spread his wings over you and keep you secure. His faithfulness is like a shield or a city wall. Psalm 91:4
My heartfelt prayer is that you will think about this and begin to believe in yourself as a whole person ALONE, BUT NOT ALONE.
I truly believe, YOU CAN DO THIS!
Next: Alone, but not Forgotten
If you are wondering what faith in Jesus is all about and Christianity check this out.