I found myself wondering what happened to our little family. It was like a dream (aka nightmare) and felt so unreal. Surely this broken up family would get fixed? It was broken and the feeling of intense pain couldn’t seem to go away. Have you ever felt that way?
Over the years, as I talk with women, I am reminded that we all have our own personal situations that feel so unreal. During those times, FEAR can grip us like a vice disabling us to move forward. The Fear of the unknown can be downright gripping.
- A child has an incurable illness
- An older child has made unsafe choices and you pray daily for them
- Financial pressures that leave you in a panic of how to meet deadlines
- A Spouse has passed away
- Your job isn’t stable
- Your ex has walked out and said he/she has found their true soul-mate
I don’t know your life situation, but I do know about dealing with the fear of the unknown. When my ex first left, I wasn’t sure what was my first move. I thought he would come back. How was I going to pay the rent? How was I going to be an emotional stability for my kids in all the changes? How would I be able to survive alone? What employment could I get? How could I make it through the day? How could I heal my broken life?
One week felt like an eternity to get through with so many issues to deal with. What was ahead? I was so afraid of the unknown. I know I am not the only one who has ever felt this. It seems to be a part of many lives whether a single parent, a child, a senior, a teen, or a single person. Many are taking panic attack medication because of fear issues and trauma in their life.
I get it. Life is not in a neat little package. The truth is that this life package rips, the tape doesn’t hold, and well the ribbon, it was long gone. In my book, Single Mom Survival Success, Tools and Tips for the Journey, I dedicate a chapter entitled, The Monster Called Fear. I have mentioned fear in previous blogs because it is a real issue in dealing with how to deal with this monster.
There is hope!
We can begin to stomp it out by facing that fear. Maybe it is the fear of being alone, or a fear of making ends meet, the fear of child custody, or what people think of you. Take some time to identify it so you can move toward a solution that will help ease your fear.
I feared being alone and having to do this single parenting by myself. I had to find employment and learn new skills. I feared what people thought of me and feared moving forward. The list went on. I had to release each fear of the unknown. I am glad for the victories I had (and still do) because I didn’t want this monster to win. I still have to fight this monster and gain victory. Life is just that, isn’t it?
A song by Bill Gaither called Because He Lives says, “Because He lives I can face tomorrow…. Because I know He holds the future. As those that have a faith relationship with Him, we have assurance that He will help us face the unknown, face today, and face tomorrow.
Take some time to stand back and realize our Heavenly Father wants to take your fear and help you take a step in the right direction to fight that monster to the ground. As Timothy says
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)
- And when I was burdened with worries, you comforted me and made me feel secure. Psalm 94:19
- Even if you have to suffer for doing good things, God will bless you. So stop being afraid and don’t worry about what people might do. 1 Peter 3:14
- Our Lord, we belong to you. We tell you what worries us, and you won’t let us fall. Psalm 55:22
- Don’t be afraid. I am with you. Don’t tremble with fear. I am your God. I will make you strong, as I protect you with my arm and give you victories. Isaiah 41:10
Let’s fight this monster and believe God can help face the unknown. God has gone before us and He can lead us to victory!
- Take one of the above Scriptures and put it to memory.
- Begin to take each of your fears and dissect it and work toward a solution.
- Believe that this Monster does not have to have control over you.
- Trust God to help you walk through this with His power and of love and of a sound mind.
YOU CAN DO THIS! So Long Monster!