Single parents (and for that matter, all parents), it is good to have healthy boundaries. It keep things in order and safe for the family. We all need a good imaginary fence to protect us with a gate to allow us some flexibility.

In my book, Single Mom Survival Success, Tools and Tips for the Journey, I said

Without boundaries, life can be one exhausting attempt to catch up. Some parents let their children run free range and rule the roost to experience all there is to life. Children have no concept of what real life consists of.  Setting wise boundaries will help them grown into healthy adults. In order to experience safeguards, they will learn that the word NO can be a good word.

In contrast, some families have such tight boundaries they can hardly breathe. That can make things harder, not easier. I suggest finding something that works for you and your kids as you journey on this new path. As you set safe and wise boundaries for yourself and your kids, you will be able to decide how rigid to build your fence or how wide to allow your gate to open. Consistency is very important. What works from some families will not always work for yours. (from page 26)

Having good and healthy boundaries is a gift you can give to yourself and your children. Found out what works best for you.

We certainly need God to help us because life is tricky and many times tough.

All wisdom comes from the Lord, and so do common sense and understanding.  With wisdom you will learn what is right and honest and fair.  (Proverbs 2: 6, 9 CEV)

If you are struggling with boundaries, why not find a wise, trusted friend, pastor, or counselor to help you process boundaries so you can decide what is good for your family. Remember that what is working well now, may need to be adjusted as time goes by and that is why a gate is important.

Boundaries really are a good thing!


  • Understand healthy boundaries are good for you and the children
  • Take time to determine what boundaries will help you and your children
  • Remember you have a fence to keep you all safe, but you also have a gate for flexibility and healthy changes.
  • What works for now, may need to be adjusted down the road.


NEXT BLOG: Healing 101

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