Many have joined the What Feels Good Religion. Whatever they feel at the moment is their compass for life.
One night stands are the norm. Deciding to live together without a marriage commitment is an everyday occurrence; besides it is an economical move. Right? What is wrong with having sexual relationships before marriage? What will it hurt? Everyone is doing it.
Many say the Bible is an antiquated book that was good for people way back when, but really, get with the tour. It’s the new world! If you take the time to read it, you will find that people struggled just like us. Life is still about war, injustice, joyful moments, passion, victory and recipes for healthy living.
I need God’s Guide Book. If I went by the feel good religion, my life would be a mess. Besides, my life was a mess because of other’s decisions for their feel good choices, so I know that it doesn’t work well.
A couple of weeks ago, I talked about Respect. Its cousin is the Moral Compass. Dating can be pretty exciting. Someone is paying attention to you and wants to spend time with you. What a nice treat after a heart-wrenching break up in your marriage. Every woman wants a man to share their dreams and goals with. If you are able to set some healthy dating boundaries ahead a time and know where you stand with this compass, it will save you some heartache.
I was looking forward to dating again and enjoying male company. I made a pack with myself and God to help me keep my standards high. It was surprising how the moral compass had changed in the 12 years I was single…even in our churches. Some men had no more interest in me than a pet snake and only wanted time in the sack. I can’t even imagine basing a solid foundation on just sex.
It’s not only about having sex. There are other moral issues that need our compass. Some are dating a married man believing his words saying he plans to leave his wife or file for divorce SOON. Maybe you are still married and things have not been finalized. Integrity is the best route to follow when either/or are still married.
As a single mom we can feel starved for love. Some think having sex with a guy is true love making them feel better. Intimacy in any relationship is about communication, believing in each other, and respecting each other’s body.
In my research on this topic, I found a website called, www.waitingtillmarriage.org. This is not a Christian website. I do not agree with all they post, but they desire to wait for a sexual relationship until the I Do.
Multiple premarital sex partners enhance women’s risk of divorce, regardless of their cohabitation experiences. http://waitingtillmarriage.org/study-definite-link-between-premarital-sex-cohabitation-and-divorce.
Certainly no one wants a repeat performance of a broken relationship and marriage. I believe with all my heart that God is not a killjoy in this. He knows what He is talking about; He is the Creator of love. Using God’s moral compass as a guide will help in your dating life.
You are special and need to be cherished. If you have been given another chance at love, then having healthy boundaries will protect you. If a guy truly respects you, he will wait and vice versa. Sex doesn’t solve life.
I asked a young adult about pre-marital sex their reasoning was they thought they would marry anyway so it was fine to have sex. That particular relationship didn’t last.
When I started to date Bill, he told me he didn’t believe in sex before marriage. I was thrilled to finally hear that. We were both able to relax and get to know each other.
Take some time to pray and work through what you want in a relationship. Believe and respect yourself. I want that for you!
Sex is a basic human need. Every person has the desire to enjoy a physical relationship with someone they care about. And in the context of marriage, those moments of intimacy can bring pure joy and pleasure to your life. But when it is used in the wrong way, sex can cause guilt, anxiety, depression, disease and love self-esteem. http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/preparing-for-marriage/why-wait-for-sex/making-decisions-about-sex
God isn’t trying to rain on our parade. Look what He thinks about you.
How priceless if your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge I the shadow of your wings. Psalm 36:7
To me, you are very dear, and I love you. That’s why I gave up nations and people to rescue you. Isaiah 43:4
He wants you to enjoy dating and have the most intimate and fulfilling marriage. He wants you and your potential mate be able to communicate, believe in each other and work through tough life issues together. What a foundation for a new start!
Know this! You can always start new.
If a guy won’t continue to date you because you won’t have sex with him….hum….I would say, Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry!!!
With your moral compass, take a look at how precious you are. God is excited to guide your moral compass. He wants to protect you and your heart. He believes in second chances and will help as you wait at the door for Mr. Date to arrive. He keeps saying to you, You are very dear, and I love you.
- What are you telling yourself?
- If you are a Christ-follower, are you different from the world’s standards?
- Take your moral compass on your dates
- Research for yourself the information
- Remember above all else, God believes you are very dear.
NEXT WEEK: A Great Deal on Values (I promise I won’t be so wordy next week!)
YOU CAN DO THIS!