There was a restless within me. I knew my marriage was over; caput! Life had settled down with legal issues, the kids had a schedule in black in white with their dad, and getting back into the workforce had us more financially stable.
Yet…… contentment niggled my heart. Things may have settled legally but my heart was discontent. Discontentment discolored everything I had. I had a nice warm home BUT the furniture was hand-me-down. People were buying new vehicles and while mine got me from A to B, it was old. People were buying name-brand clothing like Hilfiger and Le Chateau while I shopped at thrift stores. Friends were going out for dinners while I cooked macaroni and cheese for the girls. And most of all, I was lonely and I wanted someone to love me.
Boy, what a whiner! ha ha 🙂
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. Hebrews 13:5 (NIV)
But godliness with contentment is great gain. 1 Timothy 6:6 (NIV)
We all are discontent from time to time. For me, I had to reign in my thoughts, talk to God about this, and work at putting things back into perspective. My furniture may have been given to me, but people were so thoughtful to share what they had with me. It was comfy and put to good use. My car may have been old, but you wouldn’t believe the fancy buttons inside.The girls had special lights in the back to do crafts, read books, and we had many adventures using that car. I had money to buy used clothing and even though name brands aren’t a big deal for me, I did find some name brands hanging on the racks. I may not have been going out to restaurants, but we had special family meals together even if was from a box from time to time.
Now about the loneliness thing….that is tough! We have a space in our heart for companionship, a life partner. Someone who accepts us just for who we are. Some of my single mom friends were dating again and getting re-married.
It is easy to want to run ahead of God or pick the first guy who shows any attention. Being discontent and desperate are two dangerous words. Many I know have been in such a hurry and made an unwise choice. Now there is family issues, and the second marriage is struggling too. For those, I pray they can work through the differences and problems to come out on the other side in positive ways.
For those of you who are still struggling along as a single mom and feeling restless, walk with me for a minute and ask yourself some questions,
- Why are you needing to have a relationship? Is it because you need help with the house, kids, and financial responsibilities?
- Trying to show your ex or people that you still got it?
- You are so lonely you will go out with just about any man?
- Wanting to have fun so you don’t think about your past?
- Needing confirmation that you are a special person?
I asked myself the same questions. I found that if I was always on the lookout for a man, I was missing wonderful things that were right in front of me. I had this thought that people believed I deserved to be alone because I must have been an awful wife. It was tiring.
Right before me was two wonderful girls that needed my love. It was time to re-focus on what I had and let God work out the dating issue. It didn’t happen overnight and that was God’s timing. I wouldn’t have been ready or emotionally healed and neither would the girls. Some of the men I dated didn’t last and thank goodness for that.
I may have had a husband that left me, but God never, never does. God gave me very faithful friends to help in my loneliness and His Scriptures were the salve to my lonely heart. He kept saying just wait!
Choosing to wait on the dating scene didn’t always make me content, however, my life was full. I didn’t miss out on good things in life which helped me to stop wishing for more. Because I didn’t run ahead with dating, years later I met a wonderful man that was right for me. Waiting meant his life journey was being played out while I never even knew him. He would often say, Thank you for waiting for me.
God knew what He was doing!
Rest in the fact, you are where you are today. You are going to make it and do it well!
- Make a list of things you are thankful for
- If you are struggling with something right now, ask for God’s help to work through it with you.
- There are a lot of single men out there, but are you content to wait for the right one?
- Remember God will never leave you or forsake you.
Next week’s topic: Respect
YOU CAN DO THIS!