I believe kids have supersonic eyes to see just about everything and ears big as elephants to hear things we don’t want them to hear! Now mind you, the words clean your room, or set the table does not seem to compute!
This single mom task means we have to work hard at being positive examples to our kids. Sometimes, I just wanted to throw caution to the wind!
As far as re-entering the dating scene and how you live this out is so important. This is a new learning curve to re-enter having male relationships. Being an example for healthy relationships is paramount for preparing your kid’s in their relationships.
Sometimes we don’t even know we are acting a certain way. I was thrilled to get some male attention. Being dumped for someone else certainly leaves you feeling pretty rotten about yourself. Just to have a new friend to chat with and have some fun with is a wonderful feeling. It can be very easy to lose perspective. I know this because I experienced it and for a time lost my focus on what it should have been.
Here are some questions to think about because those Supersonic Eyes and Big Ears will be attentive.
For You and Your Kids:
- What kind of talk will they hear about the guy who picks you up for a date?
- Has your focus changed from your children to about Mr. Date? Do you spend hours on the phone with him or involve him in all your family activities?
- And most importantly, are your kids expressing a different behaviour that needs to be addressed?
- How do you act with him around the children?
- How does he treat you in front of the children? How does he treat your kids?
- Is he a positive example to all of you?
- If he has kids, are you giving his kids more attention?
- And most importantly, does he have a relationship with God that honours God and your family?
Sometimes it is hard to be a responsible adult. This is one of those times. Dating is a whole new ballgame with kids in the mix. It isn’t high school or college anymore. I am all about having fun, exploring relationships, and making memories. I am not trying to rain on your parade. Dating can be a wonderful, positive experience. God knows that and wants to help you in this.
It is hard to be responsible, always having to make wise decisions as a single mom. That was my Reality, and I know it is yours. I needed God’s help. I couldn’t go wrong with that!!!
As I entered this crazy dating world, my girls were a part of it. They weren’t ‘the boss of me’ but I knew it was a concern for them. I was far from being a perfect example. Hindsight is always best. I only had my children for such a short time before they left the nest.
From my own experiences, my desire for you first and foremost, is that you cherish who you are which will help you be an example to your precious children. It will help set them up for how they will date. Easy? No, but God knows you can do this and He will bless you for it.
Titus 2:7, 8a (NIV), In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned
- What kind of example are you giving your kids for dating?
- How are the kids reacting? Ask your kids how they are feeling with whom you are dating.
- Prioritize your family life with your kids, if he is worth it, he will understand.
- Is this man treating you well? Is he a good example?
- Have boundaries about pre-marital sex. (That is a whole new topic but your kids are watching what a pure relationship is about)
- Do you have peace about continuing a relationship that works within your family boundaries?
- If you haven’t started to date yet, what kind of boundaries do you want in place?
That is enough questions…I am cheering you on!
YOU CAN DO THIS!
Next Week’s Topic: Desires and Dreams