State of the Union-Less

No, I’m not talking politics!

You are single and the marriage that once was is now ‘union-less’. Life has handed you the bulk of responsibilities, a new juggling act, and the job of trying to help you and the kids make sense of life.

ID-100279463You know what was one of my biggest fears?  I was afraid I would always be alone, pushed aside, and never find love again.

Most days were busy; filled with noise. Fighting city traffic, kid’s talking to me, and loud sounds from community centers at our activities. But the noise that was the hardest was the sound of quietness when the kids were in bed as I sat on the floor folding laundry. I could hear the clock tick when the girls were away visiting their dad. I was alone.

Being abandoned and no longer a couple lay heavy on my heart.

Are you afraid of being alone?  Understand you aren’t the only one who feels this way.  You are very normal. Sometimes just acknowledging it to a friend or even just saying it out loud helps with the process. It isn’t easy to be alone, I truly understand. However, it doesn’t end there.

Your reality is filled with hope and options.  Life at this moment is what it is for now. Take one season as it comes.

Sadly, many run into another relationship because of fear. Others can’t sit and enjoy who they are because they never took the time to look within.

For me, I began to look at my options. I hope this will encourage you to do the same.ID-10094157 (1)

  1. Find out who you are. You were created for life here on earth!

Here is one link to a quick personality test that might help you begin your process.

I was very surprised to find out more about my personality. It gave me wings to fly again because my old wings were broken.

  1. Make time for just you. Be alone. It is not a death sentence.  Treat yourself to something fun. Being alone can be a good thing.   Believe me, it can be very freeing!
  2. Challenge yourself! During this time alone, write out some ideas. Scribble out your wildest imaginations and dreams. You may want to skydive or be in a band. Who knew! What about learning a new skill, take a class on how to give your dog a haircut and save some money?  Grab a bike and go exploring! Some of those things on your list may never happen, but maybe they will!! Your marriage may have failed but you are not a failure. God believes in you. I look back at my years alone and wonder how I did it and all I learned.  I just gave myself a high five!
  3. Ask Jesus to help you with your fear of being alone. He certainly understands what that means. He lived it while on earth. I guarantee walking side-by-side with Jesus as your Comfort and Guide will be the most rewarding. He won’t leave you alone, He is there 24/7.

2 Thessalonians 2:16 (CEV), “God our Father loves us.  He is kind and has given us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope.”

You are alone….its ok. Don’t panic. Use this time midst the traffic jams, the work deadline, folding laundry, and hugging your kids to be grateful you are alone…for right now.
ID-100169204Open Your Tool Box: Look–you are uniquely made from God’s Tool Box!

  • Take the quick personality test. Are you surprised like I was?
  • Make up some fun challenges even though it may be unrealistic. You never know!!!! Then, ask God to lead you to some you might never have dreamed.
  • Take some time to be alone…no really, take some real minutes to do so. It will be good!
  • As it says in 2 Thessalonians, “a wonderful hope”.


Next week’s topic:  Being an Example to Your Kids.



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