The word, “NO” may seem like a negative word to many, but for me it was also a safety word. Raising kids on my own, I had to use those words from time to time to set boundaries and keep life sane.
- No you can’t stay out that late, you need your rest
- NO you cannot ride in that car with an inexperienced driver
- No you cannot go over to their house this time, I don’t know them yet
- No that is an inappropriate movie to watch
- No that is too much money to spend
- NO that type of outfit is not appropriate
- No it is time to stay home for some downtime
I should have worn a T-shirt with those two letters on it or had it ingrained on my forehead. I had wonderful girls, but I was not naïve in guarding them from situations that could be negative.
As I worked with them and used the NO word, my prayer was that life would become a YES word and they learned to make wise choices. I breathed these words below just as Job did.
Job 12:13, But God is the real source of wisdom and strength.
I knew one day they were to leave the nest, and so I had to use No from time to time to help them develop into wise adults. Yep! I received flak, and that was hard but I did it because I loved them. Boundaries are healthy and I wanted that for the girls.
You know what was hard? Doing it on my own. I didn’t have a husband around for help. I hoped I was doing the right thing and there were times I made mistakes or over-compensated. I would rather have done that then be Lucy goosy and let them do whatever they wanted so I could be their ‘pal’.
The Word No brought some arguments but at the end of the day, we always knew we loved each other and were a team. They understood my protectiveness and even though they didn’t always agree, they were secure in my love. In the end, No was not negative but a YES word as they grew into adulthood.
I claimed this verse for my girls. Psalm 119: 9, Young people can live a clean life by obeying your word. You can’t go wrong with living Godly principals.
No-vember is all months of the year. You are not alone in your challenge to protect and guard your children. You are the mom and choosing healthy boundaries is a Yes word!
- Understand that NO can be positive
- You are their mom and making wise choices does involve the word NO
- Ask God for wisdom as you make decisions for healthy boundaries for everyone
- Process fear and see if it is a healthy fear to say NO
- Talk with your kids about why you said NO even if they stomp their feet
- Call a wise friend for support
- Claim Psalm 119: 9 for your kids
YOU CAN DO THIS!