I took a deep breath, exhaled and walked forward. It was swimming lesson night for the girls and my ex had just entered the building. These weekly activities made my emotional wounds re-open. I appreciated, for the girls sake, that he took the time to come and participate in their lives, yet for me, it was tough.
It usually brought self doubt. Wasn’t I good enough? Would the girls have a hard time saying good-bye to him and cry? Would his girlfriend show up? Would there be confrontation?
There will be parties to attend, prom nights, teacher interviews, piano recitals and weekly practices that will be jointly attended. What can be done to help ease the stress and heartache?
1. Realize You Are a Person of Worth in God’s Eyes
I felt like a failure. While seeing a counselor, he instilled in me the importance of believing God thought me precious in His sight. Believing it and practicing it was life changing. A friend shared a sermon by Henri Nouwen which talked about our worth in God. He said that God says of us, “I love you because I love you, because I love you.” Just because…..how exciting! I began to believe that even though my marriage had failed and my ex no longer loved me, God did and thought I was worth it just because.
2. Realize It Will Get Easier
Some weeks I felt I was back to zero in my emotional bank yet I determined not to be defeated. I truly believe that your wounds will heal if you resolve to work on the healing process. I remember standing in my driveway while the girls said good-bye to their dad and his new family. They did a group hug right in front of me as they laughed and embraced each other. I turned and walked into the house feeling so desperately alone. Inside the house and inside my heart, I took a few minutes to re-group. In those moments, I realized who I was in God, realized my daughters loved their dad and new family but they also loved me. There were emotional scars yet I choose healing over bitterness since God loves me just because.
June usually brings a number of celebrations. School is ending, programs are finishing up, prom night is approaching, and a number of parties are on the calendar with the school holidays approaching. I sat alone during graduations and recitals yet I really wasn’t alone. God sat beside me and keep saying, ‘I love you because I love you because I love you.’ And that my dear friends, was enough!
Isaiah 49:16 “See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands…”
Jeremiah 31:3 “The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”
- I would encourage you to listen for 18 minutes to Henri Nouwen preach on “I am the Beloved”. I can guarantee you will be encouraged. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8U4V4aaNWk&feature=youtu.be
- Believe you are a Person of Worth in God’s Eyes. Let Isaiah 49:16 and Jeremiah31:3 refresh your heart.
- As you attend all the celebrations with your children remember God has the chair next to you.
YOU CAN DO THIS!