There were mornings I woke up exhaling a heavy sigh wondering if I had enough energy to get through the day. I felt numb like I was outside my body looking in wondering who I was, and where I was going.
The Psalms brought much comfort to my weary soul. King David was gut-wrenching honest as he dealt with his dilemmas. I have felt what he penned in Psalm 143: 4. “I have given up hope, and I feel numb all over”.
The mind is a powerful tool and if not controlled can be like a stuck record player asking questions like: What went wrong? Why wasn’t I good enough? Why can’t life be what it was? Will I ever stop hurting? It can be exhausting dealing with hurt.
Your children are hurting as well and need your love and stability. Because I lived it, I guarantee that healing from the hurt will be positive for everyone.
I stood at my back door, turned the lock and told myself not to go back out there until tomorrow. It had been ‘one of those days’. It had gone something like this. The car needed a repair, one of the girls had gotten ill, my mailbox delivered a huge bill, and there was an issue with my ex. I hurt with so much pain and responsibilities. Enough!!!
David said, “Please hurry, Lord, and answer my prayer. I feel hopeless.” (vs 5) Yep; that summed up my day.
I had to decide what to do with the hurt in my life. I could let it destroy me or begin to experience victories. I choose the later. Focusing as David did, I choose to put things in perspective. He said, “I remember to think about the many things you did in years gone by.” God had been faithful so I choose to move forward despite hurt as my sidekick. Hurt didn’t always stay my sidekick and it won’t for you as well.
Instead of choosing bitterness and despair, I took some positive steps to take control of my journey.
- Saw a counsellor
- Saw my medical doctor
- Made new goals
- Made new memories with the kids and on my own
- Read God’s Word for comfort and help
- Gave myself permission to hurt and heal properly
Many women have expressed to me that if they can just get into another man’s arms it will solve their hurt. I strongly caution women to understand that if healing doesn’t begin within them first, these relationships can only be Band-Aids for living. I can say that because I tried it. Processing the hurt alone is paramount to any relationship.
In Jim Smoke’s book called, Growing Through Divorce, he comments, “No one else is responsible for your future but you. You have to live it. Accept responsibility for it. Make the best plans for you. Whether you remain single or remarried should not affect your present planning. You do not have to be married to be headed somewhere in life”. (p. 46)
For me, God was the only One who could ultimately give me true healing for daily living. “You are my God. Show me what you want me to do, and let your gentle Spirit lead me in the right path.”(vs 10)
MAY I please stop hurting? Life is full of hurt. However, as we heal, we are able to process and handle life issues just as David did.
- Read through Psalm 142 and Psalm 143. Underline verses that encourage you.
- Ask God to help you heal your hurting heart.
- Write out a list of the good things in your life and keep your pen handy to write more.
- Purpose to heal on your own with God as your Guide, and not depend on people.
- Seek medical help or counselling to gain perspective. It did me a world of difference!
YOU CAN DO THIS!