ALONE and Awesome

A person is awesome

The food is awesome

Your outfit is awesome

The movie is awesome

Your BFF is awesome

Your hard work is awesome

I’ll add another one to this list, without a doubt, YOU ARE AWESOME and I will tell you why.

A – You are Appointed by God.  Right now, right in your circumstance, right in a world pandemic, and right in your current state, you are where you should be.  It may not feel great all the time, the pain may be deep, the struggles are certainly real, and the unknown may feel daunting.

An encouraging thought despite overwhelming issues is that you are chosen and appointed to be here. God has entrusted you to be on planet earth for a reason.

Over the years I have struggled with my purpose.  It’s hard to understand purpose when day to day routine is just that.  I see women climbing the corporate ladder, and the ladder I am climbing is to clean dust off the ceiling fan!!!

The best remedy to refocus is to stop comparing ourselves with others and focus on the giftedness we have. Remember your purpose is unique to you. God trusts you and has appointed you to just be faithful each day.

Life gives new opportunities as well, so don’t lose hope.  It could be just around the corner.  It has for me and sometimes quite unexpected.

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit…John 15:16

W – You are Worthy

One of the best advice I got as a single mom was that I was a person of Worth and need to be treated that way.  I had to learn to believe that in my heart, to set boundaries to protect who I was, and understand how I was to be treated. It is not being selfish it is being smart.

For example, many people kept telling me to start dating as a single mom.  It wasn’t time and I had to stand my ground.  I was busy raising my two girls and wanted that as a priority.   I was Worthy as a single person and it was right for those 12 years alone.

Take the time to find out how Worthy you were made by God and engage in some important decisions based on that.  Be treated with respect and worth and you in turn can do the same for others. 

Just because you are alone, doesn’t mean you are less of a person or you haven’t reached your potential.  You are awesome just for who you are and so Worthy. These can be exciting days.

The Lord your God wins victory after victory and is always with you. He celebrates and sings
because of you, and he will refresh your life with his love. Zephaniah 3: 17

E – God is Eager to help you

God adores you. He thinks you are awesome and so Eager to assist you while on earth.  He placed you here and won’t dessert you.   If you are a child of God, he has Eternity taken care of for you too!  Now that is AWESOME.

Believe in God’s Eagerness to help and don’t give up on your life situation and God.  My aunt used to say to me, ‘You never know what is just around the corner’. 

The Lord our God will lead the way. He will fight on our side, just as he did when we saw him do all those things to the Egyptians. Deuteronomy 1:30

Let’s recap:

You are Appointed, You are Worthy, and God is Eager to help you= AWEsome

You might be alone but remember…You are AWEsome and then SOME.

Until next time…. Alone and The Advocator

Alone and Able

I find it inspirational to read about women who have fought against the odds and because of that belief, they have made the world a better place. Some include Harriett Truman, Jane Austin, Rosa Parks and Anne Frank. The present-day scientist, Dr. Kizzmekia Corbett has worked with a colleague to help in the development of the COVID-19 vaccine.  The list is endless. 

It is also the quiet, strong women who encourage others to be all they can be, a mother who raises their children to live with integrity, and women who stands with those who have no voice. You may never find their names on Google but God knows and they are heroes in my book!

As single parents, it may seem you have lost a fight and your only voice is trying to calm the mayhem in your household. Your confidence and self-esteem are at an all-time low, you are alone and feel you don’t know how to move on.

I get that. I know the feeling. You may be asking how you can make a difference, how you can move ahead from one week to the next, and if you will survive and make a positive difference in your children’s lives.

The amazing truth is even though alone, you are able.  You have got this despite the struggle being real.

 There were many new things I had to do and sometimes I failed the first time and the next, but I learned from it and I did it!  Each new step or adventure was sometimes scary but I was jumping up and down on the inside knowing I did it and I could face something else.

Maybe you are thinking you can’t do these:

  1. Making decisions on your own
  2. Really laughing again
  3. Realizing your worth
  4. Trying something new
  5. Raising your kids alone
  6. Stop believing in the lies you were told
  7. Making a positive and enjoyable life for yourself

Dear ones, you can do all of the above and more.  We don’t have to be world leaders, or have a degree in front of our name, or be CEO of a company.  You need to realize you are right where you are to be the best at what has been handed you. Because You Are Able!

Truth is, I hated what had been handed to me.  But as I began to believe in myself and that God was going to help me fight this battle called single motherhood, things began to fall into place.  Easy? Some things not so much.  I also had to realize I didn’t have to learn it all at once.

God is our mighty fortress, always ready to help in times of trouble. Psalm 46:1

Slowly the lies began to dissipate and when I them heard in my head, I had to tell it to get lost.

I truly believe, you are able to raise your kids and provide them love where you hang your hat. You are able to restore the hurt and shame of a marriage/relationship broken.  You are able to believe in yourself as a person of worth who God has uniquely created you to be.  You are also able to be the best parent you were called to be.

Fact: Believe you are able to move ahead and then take the first step. God has provided many resources. You can’t do everything all alone so find friends who are true blue, possible government aid or resources, great books and articles in your growth, counselling opportunities for you and your kids, and the courage to ask for help.

Bottom line…YOU ARE ABLE!

I encourage you to take some time to evaluate your life and what you would like to see happen. (ie…lose the lies, make some new goals and dreams for yourself, and also for your family.)

God is your Help and your Encourager.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us… Ephesians 3:20

You are able…you can do this!

Check out Linda’s Library here on my blog for some resources. 

Have you read this book? https://btsmediablog.files.wordpress.com/2016/12/rick-warren-the-purpose-driven-life-what-on-earth-am-i-here-for.pdf  This is a free resource and very inspiring.

Next time:  Alone and Awesome!

Alone but Not Forgotten

You are important and not forgotten!

While living life as a single mom, there were days when it felt heavy piled with uncertainty.  Now with Covid-19 still looming, it has certainly caused more isolation and lonelier days.  For you, single parents, I give you a high five and a huge gold star!  It’s okay to feel discouraged and weary.  It’s okay to blow your nose and wipe away your tears. 

Did you know that God collects your tears?

You have kept record of my days of wandering. You have stored my tears in your bottle and counted each of them.  Psalm 56:8

We all need to be reminded of the wonderful promise that while there are feelings of being alone the truth is, we are NOT forgotten by God. 

From one person God made all nations who live on earth, and he decided when and where every nation would be. Acts 17:26

We are on this planet for a reason. We will have troubles, we will have pain, and we will have triumphant times.  It’s called life!  I am not liking the pain or the trouble.  I’d rather have triumphant victories any day. 

I know single parents feel physically alone sometimes.  I wasn’t asked to join in activities like I used to, I had to make important decisions alone, and my heart felt the aloneness that only those that live it can understand.

God’s promise is that He will never leave us alone.  He promised it to those living in Old and New Testament times and He still does today. 

…The Lord has promised that He will not leave us or desert us.  Hebrews 13:5

Do you feel that God has abandoned you or doesn’t care.? I have felt that way too.  It’s okay to feel that way, because God still keeps His promise despite how we feel. Maybe you feel that way right now.  Don’t give up. Keep reaching out and up to God. Keep talking to Him. 

When you are hurt by those that are not including you and don’t understand the life issues you are facing (that is a given), why not grab yourself a coffee and go for a walk with God.  He is waiting to listen, collect your tears, and reassure you He isn’t going anywhere. 

There had been times, in utter alone-ness, I received a phone call, or a knock at the door.  God brings positive situations into our lives to let us know that we may be alone, but He has NOT forgotten us or ever will.

Why not buy a decorative bottle at the dollar store or thrift store and keep on your counter to remind you that God is collecting your tears and will not desert you?

With God as your focus it will help in positive decisions and not out of desperation. I am not saying it is easy as 1-2-3 but being alone can be a positive thing as you work on a relationship with God first and foremost.  He really does have your back.

As Easter approaches, we can be assured that God has not left us alone or forgotten us.  He provided a way for us to have victory here on earth and forever. 

Thank you, Jesus for your life-giving love sacrifice.

You may feel alone, but you are NOT forgotten.

Next time:  Alone Yet Able

ALONE, YET NOT ALONE

No one likes to be alone. Yet, life sometimes hands us that for a time.

As well, single parenting is tough to say the least.  It is hard enough when two parents are trying to figure out how to raise children but then when faced with doing it alone. It can be overwhelming.

It has been a number of years since I was a single parent, but I haven’t forgot the daily struggles and issues I faced. That is something that will always be apart of my life and my heart.  I walked that journey for years and I was ALONE.  And yet, I really wasn’t. 

I am going to share over the next few weeks the idea of being ALONE. Will you join me? 

Alone, Yet Not Alone

My home sounded awfully quiet some days.  My children were with their dad and I had a few days to refuel before the silence was broken again. People are busy with their lives, schedules, and to do lists. Some of my free weekends meant I was alone because my friends had other commitments and were busy. 

Some good intentional people would tell me not to worry and that I would find someone else. What if that didn’t happen?  I couldn’t hold my breathe or quickly go out and find husband number two just because I was tired of doing things on my own. (BTW, that can be disastrous).

So how can I say I was not alone?

Physically in many ways I was, but because of my faith in Jesus, I wasn’t.  This is not some cliché to make it sound easy.

I believed as I lived my life and tried to be the best mom I could be, I had a partner alongside me. His name was Jesus.  Jesus heard my cries, heard my dreams, and heard by desire to want to become a strong woman of character.   So much so, that when I was in a crowd of people, I felt I wasn’t the third wheel. I could go to a movie theater alone, or go read my book in a coffee shop, or get my nails done alone, and I was okay.  

I sat on the pool bleachers watching the kids take swimming lessons, sat on the wooden Community Centre bench watching them do karate, and sat alone in the doctor’s office with a sick child.  I have to be honest; I was mad sometimes with this single parenting life I had been handed. The circumstance that made me single was painful, but deep down I knew I was going to be okay.

With help from friends, a counsellor, and reading Scripture, I began to understand I was WHOLE.  I was told that ONE is a whole number and as a single parent I was alone, yet not alone.  I had to change my thinking and attitude and work on being okay with being alone because I was whole as a single mom.  It saved me from some disastrous decisions and events that I would regret.

It is tough and it is lonely.  I get it.  I was that way for 12 years. I am not sugar coating it. I had many sessions of tears, many meltdowns, and feelings of emptiness as a single person. From experience, I would encourage you to pause, if you are struggling with being alone and challenge you to begin to embrace it.  Take this time to work on the wholeness of who you are, find out who you are, and begin to enjoy some of it.  It is a great confidence builder as you begin to process this. This really can be a blessing right now instead of a curse

As you sit on a park bench watching your kids at the park, or fighting a headache with the kids screaming from the back seat of the car, or pulling your hair out trying to figure out their math homework, you are going to be okay.  You may be alone, you are whole, and you really aren’t alone.

If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

He will spread his wings over you and keep you secure. His faithfulness is like a shield or a city wall. Psalm 91:4

My heartfelt prayer is that you will think about this and begin to believe in yourself as a whole person ALONE, BUT NOT ALONE.

I truly believe, YOU CAN DO THIS!

Next: Alone, but not Forgotten

If you are wondering what faith in Jesus is all about and Christianity check this out.

https://tmm.io/resources/what-is-a-christian-ptc/

Farewell February!

I have to say January and February are my least likable months. How about you?  I live in a place where snow and ice storms along with very frigid weather are constant for at least 3 months.  Just getting ready to go outside makes me look like Ralphie’s brother, Randy, from The Christmas Story movie.  By the time, I am dressed, I am exhausted!  Covid-19 has not helped this year

It has taken me a few years to realize that my energy and attitude levels are not always what they should be during these months. So, I acknowledge it, try and work through it on my own, talk to people in my corner who are what I call, Safe People, and make a plan of action.

Making a game plan is what I need especially during for these months. I get my sewing machine busy, read uplifting books, watch some funny shows, go for an outside walk with my friend once a week (yes, I look like Ralphie’s brother), do more crafting, and brave the cold and snow by snowshoeing.  If our ATV can get through the snow, we go on rides as well. It has been harder this year with not being able to connect with extended family and friends.   I bet you are feeling the same way

.I remember as a single mom, it was especially hard and I was thankful for those friends and family who were just a call away.  It can feel very lonely at times especially when some around us are not affected in the same way.  That is okay, I am not them, they are not me.  

As I embrace the realization that some months of the year are not my favourite, then I can work at solutions. I know some people need medication and grateful for prescriptions to help them do life. We all need to care for ourselves as God’s creation and then, in turn, we can manage life and care for others.

The scriptures are also comforting and encouraging to me.   Numerous people in the Bible struggled too.  It’s called being human.

Psalm 42:11 Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.

Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation– whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life– of whom shall I be afraid?

I am happy February is leaving, but I am also glad to have worked to embrace my struggles.  If you are like me, I hope you can do the same little by little.

Don’t be afraid to reach out if you would like some encouragement and a listening hear. Also, here are a couple of links if you are interested.

https://www.focusonthefamily.ca/get-help/counselling#counselling-request

https://thelife.com/about/get-a-mentor

We are going to get through this.